Thanks for your input Hongaku. I really appreciate your help.

I've read some of the validating guidance and would need to practice to make sure I don't come across as contrived or false, but I think you're right. Option (1) makes me the bigger person, and it also puts it all on her, without giving her added ammunition from me to validate her decision. I'll do some work on it when I get chance.

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M47 W50
T-21 yrs M-19 Yrs
S17 S15 D12
Found out about A 04/12/18
BD 04/15/18
Admitted A, name of AP and separate rooms 04/29/18
Told kids 07/22/18