W rushing thru D, help

[Cory09]

Yeah. I m thoroughly confused now. My DB coach said to open up communication and send the letter of release because of 2 reasons.
1. Lack of communication was the reason we are in this spot because my W couldn t communicate her issues so he wanted me to work on my listening and communicating skills to take down the angry wall, resentment that she had built up.
It seems to be working cuz she is much more open and caring.
2. The letter of release wasnt pouring my heart out it was showing empathy for her because she had a lot of built up shame and guilt over the affair.

The whole goal has been to get her to realize she would be a fool to leave the M.

Overall, I have done a good job of detachment and only communicate when she initiated it.
I feel like I m doing the right things of which I can control but in the end my W has to deal with her internal issues and want to come back.
I think that not helping with the D only prove that she was correct in leaving when I m trying to give her reason to return.
Right now it s baby steps, and I m trying to stay patient.
Any thoughts?