Ok, I posted yesterday but it isn't showing..so I will post again..apologies if the original one winds up here as well.
So yesterday morning was good...we are sleeping in separate beds but she brought me coffee in bed, which was nice. We chit chatted about the fact that our S16 is going out of town to camp for a couple days. Later in the morning she sent me color samples, as we are having our house painted. Then, she said she mowed the yard so I wouldn't have to do it this weekend (Fathers Day). So the day is moving along just fine. Later in the afternoon I get a text that says that she will be gone the next couple of days. Such strange behavior.
So here is where I am. I have been LRT very hard the past couple of weeks. Some things that have been said by her are:
I'm not here to work things out.
When I mentioned that perhaps we should separate physically, she said she didn't want to rush in and make any mistakes.
She also said that she was committed to trying to make it work.
I have not confronted her about an A, even though I'm pretty sure that is going on. Over a few texts she casually mentioned that her feelings were not being driven by someone else...hmm.
I have read enough on here to know I basically have 2 options;
1. Be direct with her. Tell her that if she is in love with this other person we both need to move on with our lives. Explain that even though she says she is committed, she isn't. Tell her that she has become unreliable as a partner and we'll be better off moving forward without each other. I know the ramifications of this approach, as everyone has pointed out it probably will be the nail in the coffin.
2. Stay the course, let the A fizzle out eventually and keep doing the LRT..then decide if she is at a point of trying to start a new R with me. And I know that this is such a difficult approach and will require a lot of strength, strength I'm not sure I have at this point..i'm feeling somewhat on my heels currently.
I'll prob get the paint colors from the designer today..do I send them to her? When she comes home should I be gone for a day or so? Stay dark?
Trouble is my emotions have hold of me now and I can't think clearly.
The thing is we had pretty much set up things to try to live together and see how things go, with no expectations or limits on the others behavior, so it's really hard for me to come down on her about the OM that I suspect...and other than intimacy, we get along absolutely fine..
Sorry, I guess I'm just doing some journaling.. Thanks for listening.
