He pays child support. Just i have to chase him down for things like therapy and camp. I was also referring to that time before i took him to court.
I remember another thing he said to me after BD. He said he was just waiting till son turned 21 so he could leave me.
What happened was that we were at my parents for a year, and i was telling him we would have to move and consider putting down for a housea and i was asking him how much he was saving. I had no idea about the debt or his depletion of his IRA. So insteqd of waiting till son was 21, he had to act. He pushed buttons and picked fights disappeared all the time to justify leaving based on my reactions
Can you imagine if we had reconciled? He woukd have been waiting and buying his time to screw me over when i was older.
I remember while divorce busting. I could never keep my emotions in. I acted on emotions. Begging, screaming at him. Telling him he wasnt a man or a father. Like filing for child suppprt in court. Had i not done that, he probably would have came back. He would have realized how much more money he cpuld have spent on drugs if he didnt have to pay child support and if he had a wife willing to walk on egg shells to keep him around.
My so called negative reactions and emotions actually saved me from a future with him. It would have added years to him screwing us over on a daily basis.
We all try to help people reconcilw their marriages with cheaters and addicts and liars and we shouldnt be.
As a hralth care professional, michelle weiner davis owes her clients (by clients i also mean book readers) more. She needs to add a chapter in on abuse.
She doesnt though. She admits in her mid life crises section that she has never had to live with someone like that. But still offers hope.
You know who else offers hope? Psychics and con artists and many divorce lawyers. They pray on vulnerable people. Most of us here were in abusive or toxic situations. We are the most vulnerable. Chrissy, scouring these forums coming on here with help for over 100 dollars an hour for a phone visit? Whats the difference between her and an ambulabce chaser?
I just feel so traumatized by the years of deception.
I feel like a broken record on here though. Cause i keep saying and feeling the same way. The cycles of anger. That feeling of financial stuckness. Even with taking on more hours, it helps me with small things. But nothing big. Like equity.
