Got off early last night 2 am. Came home, had a couple cold ones. For some reason I was in kids bedroom. It is a mess now, has mostly her stuff I am collecting for her to pick up. Something made me go in closet. I been in the house 10 years, I bet I have not been in that closet 10 times. What I found was kids clothes pilled up, I bet they are at least a 100 set of clothes in there. Ranging from all ages up to prolly 7 that people have gave my EW. I thought danm this is the sh*T that got on my last nerver here. The non organization is bothersome to me. Having clothes is awesome, having a pile of clothes is a mess. I crawled over them to look at a few things in the back of the closet. Found a milk crate with books and things in it. Found my 1999 freshman yr book, cool. The thing I did find was an old coarse paper drawing pad. I happened to look at it. It was hers. The first couple of pages were EW name Loves Chris. etc. Then I found a page that was us. We were watching a movie or something, (11 yrs ago) where I said no talking for 15 min. We still had conversation but we were writing it on this pad. She even wrote "4 more min till 15". I lost it. Tears rolled down my face. I flipped threw the rest of it and found another page with potential baby names on it. Guess what. coincidentally our 2nd son has that name. I couldn't help it and sent here pictures of both pages. smh
Fast forward to today. I woke up, showered, made sure I was presentable. Went and got the kids to enjoy on my one day off.
Yesterday ex and I txt msg and I told her I was going to have to bring them back today cause I have a dentist appt. @730 am and I can't do it with 2 kids under5. she said it was ok. Her uncle would be home if she wasn't.
Played with kids until about 2pm got a txt from x. "are you keeping kids tonight?". if she scrolled up 2 msgs she would see that I have a dentist appt. am. followed by 4 more txt about kids only.
Now I am outside cutting grass and come check on kids and notice that I have a missed call from X. I didn't call her back. Checked again in little while had another missed call from X. She txt do I have kids. I said yes. She knew I had kids, all she had to do was txt or call her aunt.
In last txt I said I would bring kids back at 7pm. She immediately called. Saying why don't you keep them and bring them in the morning. I was stern and said because I have to be there no later than 7.
She took this as I have plans and need a night for myself.
We played, I cut my grass, and my neighbors (works out of town) back yard. with a 2 yr old on my knee. 30 deg hill.
We played another hour before I worked out, showered, got us ready and headed to take em home.
I was on cloud 9 after she called me and txt so much. Seemed like she was thinking I was going out tonight and was curious and maybe jealous about it. This is more contact from her than I have seen in many weeks. I just knew it was.
I had high expectations taking the kids home. I was spiffed up good, shaved, all of it. To look like I was going out. I really didn't know if she would be home from work, actually figured she wouldn't be. I was almost there and my phone rang. It was her. 702 . Where you at? about to pull in the driveway! ok see you in a min bye.
I got there and she wouldn't even make eye contact. stayed more distant that ever since she left. I didn't understand it. I had figured she would have been curious as to what my plans were. What the hell I was doing but nope. She even was dolled up, and was loudly talking to my son, "come on we got to go get some stuff and some BITE BITEs". for me to hear.
On the way home I was super depressed. That did not go the way I thought it would. I was suppose to be the one who had the upper hand. She is way to good at this.
She knows my every thought. She could probably move the coffee pot 14" and knows that I would ask her why she moved it and when I would ask. I know I have to quit overthinking but it is super hard thing for me to do.
