Hoosjim's 16th. Looks like we're piecing, folks.

[DonH]

Thanks for the details Jim. I have no science or even research behind this, so I guess I just WONDER... is there a difference for when a WAW, like I said before, dips her toes in the PA pond versus jumping in? I just really wonder. It was in large part in your WAW's head. Oh, for certain, she did the EA part of it but when it came to PA, she seems to have hesitated - at least for the most part. So, my wondering then is, do WAW's who don't really go through with it have a better chance of coming back? I just wonder.

As for not knowing, I can really see both sides here. Part of me would really want to know while another part of me might not want to know. Do you NOT want to know? If you don't, I really don't see any issues with that. Thing is, if you do, and she is refusing to tell you - now there I have a problem. Is that where you are at? It almost sounds like it might be? If you do want to know and she won't tell you, what is up there? Beyond that, if you really want to know and she won't tell you - do you not have your answer? I mean, if it were me and my W or GF or whatever wanted to know if something happened with someone and the answer was no, I'd be screaming that as loud as I can - NO NOTHING HAPPENED! This "I can't remember" crap is just that - crap. She most certainly remembers.

My gut, sort of like I think your's is at, thinks something did happen short of intercourse. Then again... and I don't want to scare you or dredge things up here, but your W and my ExW really do seem to have similarities. I would have never thought she would cheat on me - but she clearly did - and not only once from what I've been able to figure out. It's amazing how people will say things or let them slip 10 years later.

Again, if things are good and you are fine with it all - there is nothing more to be done with it. If you are at piece with things, let them stay there. However, if not and you are still wondering, she really should be telling you - regardless of how hard it might be.

Lastly, time still needs to tick by before we will know for sure, but it really appears that your M has the makings of being one of those that end up better than ever. I'm pretty sure that's the case now already. I just think it could turn into one of those stories we hear and read about where things are better than they ever would have been had this not all happened.