"I m worried that she will continue to distract herself and allow herself to truly miss our relationship and in 2 months we ll be divorced."

Why worry about that which you can't control. You can control exactly one person, you.

"At the end of meeting, I gave her a letter of release. She was really hesitant to accept it. I said that my only hope is you take the time to read it. It was basically, telling her how she enriched my life, took ownership of my contributions, had empathy for her and wished her the best in her life."

Okay this didn't help you one bit. You said: "I went into this meeting with the goal of staying calm, projecting confidence and being assertive." Then claimed you accomplished that. And then you threw it all away with a letter pouring your heart out?

Giving letters about "telling her how she enriched my life, took ownership of my contributions, had empathy for her and wished her the best in her life" is not detachment nor DBing in any way, shape nor form.

Have you ever heard the old mantra that our fear causes us to bring about the very thing we are afraid of? You are epitomizing that. You are acting out of fear and acting out of fear will get you D'd 99.9% of the time.

Did you read DB and DR? Have you read cadet's links? Have you learned sandi's rules? Cory09 I will give it to you straight. The only thing that will work is WHAT you do, not what you say or write. Words are meaningless. Your W doesn't care what you say or write. She doesn't really care what you do, but what you DO will have an impact, not words.

Please consult the board before writing letters and giving them to her. That is if you want to avoid D.


Last edited by Cadet; 06/12/18 07:48 AM.
M(53), W(54),D(19)
M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017
Ring and Piecing since March 2018