Well, me and wife met to open lines of communication last Friday and discuss the settlement that her lawyers prepared. Once again, The bomb drop was 29 days ago, but I wanted to make sure that she understands that I m listening to her needs and wants and that I respect her opinion. I can really tell through our communication that she was testing me in some ways. After, 9 years of marriage I turned into a nice guy and thought it was my job to protect and provide anything my wife could ever want. Through the separation I ve learned that I need to get back to my assertive, self- confident self if I ll ever have s chance with my wife or another productive relationship. I went into this meeting with the goal of staying calm, projecting confidence and being assertive.

It was interesting to see my wife s reaction, it was almost like she was relieved that I was sticking up for myself. We had good, fun conversation and I remained very patient. Her demeanor was super anxious and uneasy and she looked extremely thin and not as vibrant as she usually does. through conversation she has thrown herself into work and has become a compulsive house cleaner, clearly a distraction for having to face her emotions. She had always repressed her feelings and distracted herself because if she didn t acknowledge something was wrong she didn t have to face it. I m worried that she will continue to distract herself and allow herself to truly miss our relationship and in 2 months we ll be divorced.

At the end of meeting, I gave her a letter of release. She was really hesitant to accept it. I said that my only hope is you take the time to read it. It was basically, telling her how she enriched my life, took ownership of my contributions, had empathy for her and wished her the best in her life. She texted me 2 days later with a Thank- you for the letter . It was not what I expected and I m not sure how to respond to your thoughts except to say Thank-you . We ve sharing positive communication over the last couple of days which I m viewing as Baby Astro s but still no clear break from the D word. I m being patient but I really feel that I m truly trying to better myself and I can t keep thinking that she ll allow herself to remember how special our marriage was. It s frustrating and empty cuz the summer was truly our most magnificent time filled with amazing memories and now I m void of my best friend, lover and companion and cant stop missing her in my life

Last edited by Cadet; 06/12/18 07:05 AM. Reason: restored post