To make sure he graduates high school? To make sure he graduates high school with a certain GPA? To make sure he gets into a particular university? To help him develop the skills to set goals and achieve them? To build a loving and supportive relationship with him during his teen years?
Do you know how your son responds to external and internal expectations? (Gretchen Rubin has a great book on this that I found helpful and wish I'd had earlier with one of my kids.)
My impression from your previous posts is that you are pretty rigid and analytical with your son. That might not be the approach that will help you achieve your goals, depending on what they are and how your son responds to expectations, especially with everything else he is dealing with.
"Angry and deflated" teens don't usually live up to their full potential.
I think I've made most of the possible parenting mistakes, so I say this with a lot of empathy.
Me: 44 H: 44 Kids: 20, 16, 16, and 10 Together/Married: 22 years H announced he was emotionally detached and considering D: 4/4/16 H announced he is going to try to stay and reconnect: 5/1/16
