How are finding out so much about her business? Tell you what, I want to offer you a challenge. I challenge you to go for the next 7 days that you don't go to whatever source you are currently using to acquire all of this information about your W. I mean, you seem to be keeping tabs on her somehow. It is not helping you. It only pours salt into your open wounds. So, will you accept the challenge?
I find everything out mostly by things she has said or done (she's really terrible at hiding things), plus I'm close friends with the sitter, I'm friends with someone who is her best friend's husband, and just general observation. Of all of the bad things ADHD has done in my life, it's made me very good at picking up on little things and thinking outside the box. I tend to solve puzzles really easily.
I've been focusing mostly on exercising and trying to eat healthier. I go to the park for walks. Yesterday, I felt that I was getting angry, so I went for a second walk. I did have a doctor's appointment yesterday, but I had to reschedule it because without insurance, the visit was too much (and medication would have been even more). I definitely need to get rid of my anxiety, but I'm in a very bad position financially right now, and doctors don't usually accept promises.
I'm going to try to let stuff go and see if I can just make it through the week without really trying to figure stuff out. Honestly, I wish my mind would cooperate with me on that. Heh.
I feel like absolute hell inside.
My days AND evenings are pretty much spent on my own. Most of my friends have lives, families, etc. I'm kind of on my own most of the time. In fact, the only human interaction I've REALLY had over the last 3.5 years has been with S3. W was always working late. We used to talk in the evenings, and most of the time it was nice. Really, without them here, I kinda just don't have anyone. I've made a few new friends, but again, they have stuff to do that doesn't really give them time to hang out, talk, etc.
