She knows... Pt. 2

[sandi2]

I do try to be positive with S3, in fact Sunday we pretty much spent the whole day being happy, playing, chasing each other around the house (apparently I'm the spider king...lol). But Saturday was rough.

This is great! One of the LBH's who use to be on the board, told us that whenever he felt his happy face slipping, he would go into the bathroom and bury his face in a stack of towels until he cried it out. Then, he would compose himself and go out for the next round.

When I use the expression "happy face", I don't mean you have to walk around with a fake smile plastered from ear to ear. Just try to be self aware and not look like you've lost your last friend. That's what others pick up is the sad expressions.

Today S3 was at the sitter's house (which is basically downstairs), and W had to work late...so she asked her friends to pick him up. Not me. Now, they live farther away than necessary...she could have literally asked me to just go get him...but she's willing to inconvenience herself just to avoid being anywhere near me. The funny thing is tonight she was working about 4 blocks from my place, so it would have 1) given me more time with S3 and 2) been a lot easier on her when she gets off of work later (assuming she actually does work as late as she told the sitter).

Okay, so how did you know about all of this ^^^^^^^? If it was her turn, or whatever, to pick up S3, doesn't she have the prerogative to ask her friends to get him? I understand every move she makes is irritation for you, but you must let go of these smaller issues. Unless it is written in the custody agreement, or whatever, that she gives you the first option of picking up/keeping S3 when she can't.......then there isn't much you can do about it. Although I empathize, you have to accept that there will times she'll go out of her way to avoid involving you in the least way. It doesn't make sense to you, but she has her reasons. Could be that she just did not want another face to face, since the last time, IDK.

Also, I found out that she is doing a cash side job...AFTER telling the court that she couldn't afford court fees. It's the same one she used to do (but used to get paid legit) working with the people who have been slandering me. Ugh.

So...she seems to be kind of almost trying to get in over her head with all of this...? I dunno. It's weird.

How are finding out so much about her business? Tell you what, I want to offer you a challenge. I challenge you to go for the next 7 days that you don't go to whatever source you are currently using to acquire all of this information about your W. I mean, you seem to be keeping tabs on her somehow. It is not helping you. It only pours salt into your open wounds. So, will you accept the challenge?

During the next 7 days, will you really focus on yourself and what you can do to start healing? I suspect you'll want to say that saving your M will start the healing, but you have to save yourself, first. What are you currently doing to help yourself come through this crisis a sane, stronger, independent, attractive man?

How do you spend your days/evenings when you don't have S3?

Have you set any personal goals (unrelated to your MR) for the next six months? If not, give it some thought.