Vinny, you need to start a new thread now that you are at 11 pages. However, if I understand your question it is how do you include mutual friends and family in the detachment from your W? You don't. It is none of their business and pulling them into your MR sitch will only end up being a barrier for your W to return the MR.
Remain cooly, lovingly detached to your W around others. Remember, detachment is not ignoring or "going dark". Many people get that wrong. It is being friendly, upbeat and pleasant, but not letting what she says or does affect you. You can do that even around others.
