Gordie #20: patiently living my life

[Gordie]

Hawho and Gerda

Thanks

When she used to say crazy I used to point it out to her or argue with her

That did me no good

Now I just listen and try hard not to express what I really think

And usually the crazy is never brought up again

No war zone vacation for me and the kids



I did book a summer beach vacation for the family and w wants to join us

We did not go on one last summer and the kids really missed it

I hesitated doing something for this summer too

But decided I would go ahead

A little anxious because b d two years ago was right after summer vacation and a lot of family time

But cannot let that anxiety get the better of me

Life has to go on

I cannot live my life on the sidelines waiting for her to come around

Gotta keep moving on

Well w has definitely warmed up to me

I got an I love you for the first time since around Christmas when it caused a huge blow up

I am usually reserved but she was hot and heavy with OM2 and she said I love you

And I just ripped into her and told her no you do not love me

If you loved me you would not treat me this way

She kept insisting no I really do love you

Which made me actually raise my voice and scream stop saying that

Well it is six months later and she said I love you

I just accepted it and let it hang there

I did not say I love you back

She gave me a hug and a kiss on the cheek


W also came to sit next to me at an end of school kid event

Together in public for the first time in several months

However I could tell w was not enjoying herself

I sensed she wanted to leave early but I said nothing and she made it to the end


W birthday and our anniversary are coming up

So will need to figure out what to do