It is just a catalyst and is in no way responsible for what happened. The reason for it is deeply rooted inside of her, probably planted at a very early age.
So pondering about the 9s in the ages is futile. Sometimes when a person reaches a certain age or they are faced with a traumatic event (death of a parent, death of a friend, an accident,...) something clicks in their head and off they go. A second puberty or what's not.
Make no mistake, we all go through a transition, when we cross that invisible line from youth to middle age. But some cross with just a hiccup, where others face life altering decisions and events. This "confusion" can take anywhere from a couple of years, to forever, depending on the severity of the issues and the willingness to face them. This stage is most recognizable by the vacant stare, the empty eyes, sometimes called shark eyes. It is a dead giveaway of the process.
Some return, some do not, in a lot of cases, the LBS goes forward with his/her life and pursues happiness elsewhere. They say that the mending of a broken relationship when/if the wayward decides to come back is much much harder than the whole breakup. My breakup damn nearly killed me and I have decided that I do not want a do-over. I have healed and am single and I do love my life.
I have a great job, my kids are doing well, I get to travel the world and I thank god every day for my life.
