WAW help!!!

[kiro]

Hey there Chris. You need to stay strong. I know it's hard, but have hope. There is always hope. You will be Ok whether she comes back or not.

I went through everything you are describing. My wife is the same, even worse. She doesn't even care to see her own kids anymore. I went through the same cycles you're going through. It takes time, but you will get out stronger. Sometimes, you need to go through the pain to learn.

We are trying to help you understand that common sense and logic won't help you. I still can't explain how someone can change so drastically. Some sites call it the Monster. The spouse in MLC (or the WAS) becomes a monster. You can read about it on the Hearts Blessing site, but you will spend hours and days reading, and then you'll find yourself in the same place still asking more questions.

You need to take care of yourself and your kids. Try to be the best father that you can. Don't be afraid to set boundaries to protect yourself and your kids. I wouldn't necessarily do drastic moves right away, especially if you're doing them to get back at her because it won't make your situation any better. When you set boundaries, it's to protect yourself and the kids and not to gain anything from her. It's for you.

And don't be afraid to lose her because as Hearts Blessing says "you can't lose what you have already lost". Basically, when she dropped the bomb, your marriage as you know it was ended, at least if you are facing a situation of a WW, MLC or WAS.

With time, you will learn that you can be OK without her. Do what you can for the kids, but understand that you can't make her come back if she doesn't want to. So make it as good as you can for the kids. Life is not always ideal. They will be OK in the long run. Don't beat yourself up. Just do the best you can.

I wish you the best of luck. It sure ain't easy.