Divorcebusting.com  |  Contact      
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 5 of 11 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 10 11
Joined: Apr 2018
Posts: 603
L
Member
Offline
Member
L
Joined: Apr 2018
Posts: 603
Ste7e way to take the time to find out who you are. Enjoy LA . Experience - Live -Grow!! Safe travels!


M51 w50
T-20Yrs M-16Yrs
S15- mad at W for not trying and giving up
1 Awesum dog
BD 10/31/17
separate rooms 02/08/18
wife moved out 05/17/18

Joined: May 2018
Posts: 953
D
Member
Offline
Member
D
Joined: May 2018
Posts: 953
Ste7e,

Great to hear from you! Way to enjoy LA! It can be a fun town. It sounds like it has really helped with your detachment. I hope to follow in your example.


W 34 Me 42
Married 7 years together 8
0 kids 1 beloved dog
BD 4/6/2018
I moved out 4/7/2018
I moved back in alone 8/05/2018
I file 3/06/2019
D official 5/7/2019
Joined: Mar 2018
Posts: 242
S
Ste7e Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
S
Joined: Mar 2018
Posts: 242
Oh man spoke too soon
W emailed me just now to tell me she has filed for D
Please advise

Trying hard not to freak out


M 40 W 34
Together 7 Married 2
No Kids
BD 1/18 need space
Moved out 2/18
ILYBNILWY & Asked for D 3/18
W filed for D 6/18
D final 10/18
Joined: May 2018
Posts: 953
D
Member
Offline
Member
D
Joined: May 2018
Posts: 953
Lighthouse. Lighthouse. Lighthouse.

Dont respond emotionally. Remember you are the strong one here, she is the one in turmoil. I dont know that you need to respond right away at all. If you feel like you do, maybe just acknowledge that you received the message. Her decision is not about you, nor any reflection on your worth - she is doing this for her and her own reasons.

Maybe go out and go for a bike ride, or do some yoga, or get some exercise. Do whatever it takes to clear your mind or at least settle it. Breathe.


W 34 Me 42
Married 7 years together 8
0 kids 1 beloved dog
BD 4/6/2018
I moved out 4/7/2018
I moved back in alone 8/05/2018
I file 3/06/2019
D official 5/7/2019
Joined: Mar 2018
Posts: 242
S
Ste7e Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
S
Joined: Mar 2018
Posts: 242
I am breathing though irratically
I have a yoga class in a couple hours and dinner plans with friends after that
Feeling gutted and I want to reply back but know that in my emotional state that would not be good
I am going to buy some cigarettes right now ugh


M 40 W 34
Together 7 Married 2
No Kids
BD 1/18 need space
Moved out 2/18
ILYBNILWY & Asked for D 3/18
W filed for D 6/18
D final 10/18
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 8,855
V
Member
Offline
Member
V
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 8,855
Big hugs

Let's just reframe this, ok? You know the old M is dead and gone, suppose it was ok to be D.

Suppose it opened up a new way to the future and it was ok.

It means a new path to new R.

It is going to be ok.

V


Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose.
V 64, WAW


Joined: Mar 2018
Posts: 242
S
Ste7e Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
S
Joined: Mar 2018
Posts: 242
So I called wife to talk about what I needed to do about signing etc
Talked for about 10 mins about what I have been up to in LA
We both made some jokes super mellow and pleasant
I said I had to go to get to yoga
Pretty easy to be chipper when I am out here
Didnt freak out at all didnt plead didnt say ILY just moved on with my life
I did say that well this [censored] but let me know what I need to do
Makes the whole idea of moving alot easier


M 40 W 34
Together 7 Married 2
No Kids
BD 1/18 need space
Moved out 2/18
ILYBNILWY & Asked for D 3/18
W filed for D 6/18
D final 10/18
Joined: Mar 2018
Posts: 242
S
Ste7e Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
S
Joined: Mar 2018
Posts: 242
V thanks for that reply it was what I needed to hear
By new R do you mean with W or just in general in life


M 40 W 34
Together 7 Married 2
No Kids
BD 1/18 need space
Moved out 2/18
ILYBNILWY & Asked for D 3/18
W filed for D 6/18
D final 10/18
Joined: Mar 2018
Posts: 242
S
Ste7e Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
S
Joined: Mar 2018
Posts: 242
Well last night was really hard
I really started to doubt myself
I guess I am back on here for awhile
You all help to give me strength
Would love some advice on never giving up


M 40 W 34
Together 7 Married 2
No Kids
BD 1/18 need space
Moved out 2/18
ILYBNILWY & Asked for D 3/18
W filed for D 6/18
D final 10/18
Joined: May 2018
Posts: 953
D
Member
Offline
Member
D
Joined: May 2018
Posts: 953
Hey Ste7e!

You are stronger than you can possibly imagine. Remember to tell yourself that. Affirm yourself.

You are less than 6 months into this process, it can last a long time. Divorce is just a piece of paper. The MR died in January when she gave you the BD. The piece of paper only changes the situation if you want it to. No matter what if you were looking to R, you were going to have to build a new MR.

When you are feeling down, read about the success stories on here, the threads I turn to constantly are Benitos

http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2778117&page=1


and the More Nuggets of Wisdom thread
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=794106#Post794106

And most of all - focus on yourself. Find what makes you happy. You are out in LA - explore the city, go to the beach, find cool places to hang out, do yoga, go hiking up in Griffith Park. Do you.


W 34 Me 42
Married 7 years together 8
0 kids 1 beloved dog
BD 4/6/2018
I moved out 4/7/2018
I moved back in alone 8/05/2018
I file 3/06/2019
D official 5/7/2019
Page 5 of 11 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 10 11

Moderated by  Cadet, DnJ, job, Michele Weiner-Davis 

Link Copied to Clipboard
Michele Weiner-Davis Training Corp. 1996-2025. All rights reserved.
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5