mtb - I had some dreams of my W also . I guess it just grasping at what used to be. I too believe that I do not wish to be with the woman she has become. As Steve85 says stay the course - trust in God. Stay Well!
M51 w50 T-20Yrs M-16Yrs S15- mad at W for not trying and giving up 1 Awesum dog BD 10/31/17 separate rooms 02/08/18 wife moved out 05/17/18
mtb - I had some dreams of my W also . I guess it just grasping at what used to be. I too believe that I do not wish to be with the woman she has become. As Steve85 says stay the course - trust in God. Stay Well!
M51 w50 T-20Yrs M-16Yrs S15- mad at W for not trying and giving up 1 Awesum dog BD 10/31/17 separate rooms 02/08/18 wife moved out 05/17/18
The pastmonth or so I have gone completely dark unless it's something that involves the kids. The few times we have had contact, I've caught myself being kinda cold towards her due to a lot of resentment for the crap she's been pulling lately. I've wondered recently if I should be trying harder to be more warm and friendly in a detached way. The two reasons I have for thinking this are 1) maybe my pleasant attitude will have an effect on her and she'll stop the slandering and 2) I really do love her and I want her to get the help she needs. I'm afraid by being to dark and distant/cold during the few interactions is just pushing her deeper into her hole of despair. I'm in no way considering being her friend or plan B by any means, but more of the friendly neighbor. The problem is, right now EVERYTHING is still my fault. She can't find a job, my fault... CEFS cutting back on her assistance, my fault... can't find the birth certificates immediately, my fault. She actually sent a text during our last interaction a week ago saying "I'm done with you f*cking me over!" when I didn't have the birth certificates immediately. I'm just confused as h3ll right now. Part of me wants to continue doind what I have been doing, and another part of me wants to show her I'm not the jerk she has convinved herself I am. Keep in mind, she has some serious issues and it probably won't matter what I do. I don't know. Just venting here a bit...
Me: 38 W:31 Kids: S16(mine from previous R), D10, S9, S4 M: 10 years T:12 years BD:Jan 3, 2018 W moved out: Apr 13,2018 Filed for D: Jun 2018 D final: Sep 2019
mtb - I had some dreams of my W also . I guess it just grasping at what used to be. I too believe that I do not wish to be with the woman she has become. As Steve85 says stay the course - trust in God. Stay Well!
Thanks Wolf... the dreams are the worst. I haven't been having them for quite a while, but now it's been multiple nights in a row... It $ucks...
Me: 38 W:31 Kids: S16(mine from previous R), D10, S9, S4 M: 10 years T:12 years BD:Jan 3, 2018 W moved out: Apr 13,2018 Filed for D: Jun 2018 D final: Sep 2019
The dreams are definitely hard. I dreamt the other night that H put his wedding band back on. There was kind of a funny aspect of it though, in my dream I wanted to post about it here to see what you all thought of the turn of events. I woke thinking that was kind of funny, that posting here about a change in my marriage was part of my dream.
M: 43, H: 44 Married 18 yrs, Together 26 yrs S17, D15, D8, S6 Still living in MH
Yes be warm and pleasant in your interactions. Be that to a fault. But still be detached. Don't initiate contact ever unless its an emergency. But when you respond be sweeter than punch.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
Yes be warm and pleasant in your interactions. Be that to a fault. But still be detached. Don't initiate contact ever unless its an emergency. But when you respond be sweeter than punch.
I am going to have to put more effort into this. Anytime she contacts me, it is usually because she wants money or something. When I say no, she starts spewing venom. It is hard to come across as pleasant when she is in that mode. I am not mean or anything, but I get very short and the conversation always ends with her being angry. I would give anything for her to go back to being her old self, but I know there is nothing I can do about that. It is up to her to make those changes...
Me: 38 W:31 Kids: S16(mine from previous R), D10, S9, S4 M: 10 years T:12 years BD:Jan 3, 2018 W moved out: Apr 13,2018 Filed for D: Jun 2018 D final: Sep 2019
She also gets very angry when I do not respond to her generic texts...
Me: 38 W:31 Kids: S16(mine from previous R), D10, S9, S4 M: 10 years T:12 years BD:Jan 3, 2018 W moved out: Apr 13,2018 Filed for D: Jun 2018 D final: Sep 2019
Stopped by the local bar that the W used to work and was recently barred from for a couple beers before I went to the grocery store. Had several people come up to me and tell me she had been saying that she says I showed up at her house recently and slammed her head on a wall. Tried to show them a nonexistent bruise on her forehead. As sad as all this is, I'm glad and upset that I heard this all at the same time. I'm upset because none of it is true and it $ucks that she is doing this and trying to make me look bad. On the other hand, I'm glad because it sure makes it a lot easier to detach. The past few days I've been struggling with detaching. I've had thoughts that I need to be more welcoming and accomodating to her in case she has a change of heart and wants to R. But now I realize she is just completely nuts and there is no way I want to be with someone that does things like that. The bartender there also informed me that she was up there a few weeks ago talking about how she asked me for money and I wouldn't give her any, so she broke into the house and stole the silver coins I had mentioned in a previous thread. She's just crazy and I need to get over her and move on. Never in my life did I think I would be dealing with a situation like this...
Me: 38 W:31 Kids: S16(mine from previous R), D10, S9, S4 M: 10 years T:12 years BD:Jan 3, 2018 W moved out: Apr 13,2018 Filed for D: Jun 2018 D final: Sep 2019
