Moving on (Saying ILY pt. 5)

[mtb1981]

The pastmonth or so I have gone completely dark unless it's something that involves the kids. The few times we have had contact, I've caught myself being kinda cold towards her due to a lot of resentment for the crap she's been pulling lately. I've wondered recently if I should be trying harder to be more warm and friendly in a detached way. The two reasons I have for thinking this are 1) maybe my pleasant attitude will have an effect on her and she'll stop the slandering and 2) I really do love her and I want her to get the help she needs. I'm afraid by being to dark and distant/cold during the few interactions is just pushing her deeper into her hole of despair. I'm in no way considering being her friend or plan B by any means, but more of the friendly neighbor. The problem is, right now EVERYTHING is still my fault. She can't find a job, my fault... CEFS cutting back on her assistance, my fault... can't find the birth certificates immediately, my fault. She actually sent a text during our last interaction a week ago saying "I'm done with you f*cking me over!" when I didn't have the birth certificates immediately. I'm just confused as h3ll right now. Part of me wants to continue doind what I have been doing, and another part of me wants to show her I'm not the jerk she has convinved herself I am. Keep in mind, she has some serious issues and it probably won't matter what I do. I don't know. Just venting here a bit...