scoobs: going dark is not a tactic that should be "working" it is for you. It is meant to keep your from constantly thinking about, focused on, and being hurt by your wife. It is not for manipulation. Also please realize that whatever is going on it is in the YEARS timeframe, not days or weeks. I know this is hard to hear, I know we all think maybe our case will be different and they will just "snap" out of it. But that does not happen.
You have to accept whatever she is about to do she has to do alone. Protect yourself and protect your kids. Everything else will clarify over the long term, whether she will be able to find her way out of this or not. Nothing you do will make any difference.
You are confused because you are engaged and still not detached. You are confused because she is incredibly confused and you are being dragged around by a confused and broken person and none of this makes sense. You will start to right yourself and not be confused once you detach, go no contact and put the focus firmly on yourself and your kids.
If this sounds like a broken record, it is. But it is the right record, please for your sake start listening to it.
