Is there hope?

[job]

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Thanks KYH.

I will have to continue what I am doing, I am being a bit dim as apposed to full on dark. I do some of the washing and cleaning. But she does the cooking and cleaning. I have stopped picking her clothes up from her bedroom floor, if she wants them washed, she has to bring them to the laundry basket.

This week she has managed to do the lunches for the kids and our dinner.

I have bought new clothes and she has commented that I look nice. She currently has the flue, I didn't do things I would normally done for her when she is like this. Just gave her space and let her be.

[job]

RESTORED POSTING FOR KYH



Looks like a few of mine have gone missing too. They were both off an apple iphone.

Thanks for your valuable information KYH.

What do I do if she is ill, do i still go ahead with GAL plans?

Ive done dinner, all she has to do is put the kids to bed.


My 2c but I would take care of the kids if xw was sick. I am also assuming they Are younger like mine. When xw is sick I treat her nicely like a friend, ask if she needs anything or offer soup, etc and then tell her to let me know if she needs something.




Kyh: I removed the quotes marks around his posting because they were showing up as numbers and symbols in your original posting.

[scoobs7]

My kids are 10 and 12.

I didnt do anything like you said i just left her be.

Ive gone a bit dim. She said tonight that i dont seem to communicate with her now. Am i doing the right technique?

[scoobs7]

The electric has been off all day. She had prepared food, but the time the electric came on, it was too late to cook it. She said she will cook it tomorrow. I said i wont be coming home from work as i will be going straight out from work. She asked me if this was now going to be every friday.

I said no, should i have said yes?

Not too sure if its mlc as she seems very content most days. Im confused what to do here?

Go dark/dim or be friendly but distant.

[MarvinF]

So last night the W said she doesnt know me anymore. This was due to the changes i have been making to myself. I dont get frustrated anymore, im getting on with my life and im also a cheerfull person.

But she did say that what she has done has had possatives on me. I could have screamed.

Sorry catching up late to your thread. Don't scream learn to look at the insanity and develop a sense of humor. My wife told me everything that was wrong with me at BD1, and at BD2 said she could never see me change in all the ways she needed. At that point I was already pretty aware of MLC but still stunned.

Along the way she told me multiple times how much I had changed, how happy I was and she was stunned. Every time after that she would try to get close, and seemed to question her judgement. I never allowed her to get close after that. But she did say multiple times how much she was right and that her decision had helped me too. So its part of the insane clown logic.

Just detach, remember they are very confused and upside down, and don't take anything seriously. And because it seems this is so early in replay my advice is stay dark and dim. This is just reactive to you, and is probably from fear or from wanting to control or not facing the truth of what they are saying. So just keep moving on, pretend she is not there, and do not react to her wanting to keep things as they were.

I'll tell you that I only reengaged after my wife approached me after almost a year and after not talking to me for weeks on her own. She seemed to have a clarity and presence I had not seen in a year, she was very open and mostly sane. Only then did I start matching her step for step, no more no less. But I think your wife is nowhere near there yet.

[scoobs7]

So ive been out the last 2 fridays. The W wants to speak to me this morning. She says that there is an atmosphere in the house and the kids are picking up on it. She has been looking at an house up the road from the family home. She asked me what i thought. I said for her to go and look at it.

Then she starts saying that i have been going out mon, wed and friday. My son has training on tues and thur. She says she feels like she on my beckon and call. I said she called an end to our R, she replied that it was the correct call and our marraige had been dead for years.

I dont think there is too much of an atmosphere in thr house, im just being dark with her.

Shes now sat in her bedroom with her hands in her head

[scoobs7]

I said i had to leave the conversation because it was starting to get emotional.

[scoobs7]

she then goes shopping come back 45 minutes later and starts chatting abouf the kids uniforms for school amd things she bought at the shop.

Then sits on the other sofa opposite me and asks if she can take thkids on holiday to meet up with her family, i said i had no problems, ill stay behind and look after the dog.

Then she stares at the floor for the next 5 minutes.

Ive just beem through the loop to loop of the rollercoaster. Wheeeeeeee

[DnJ]

Your W is very depressed. From a conversation about school, to visiting relatives, to staring at the floor all in a short period of time.

Keep focusing on yourself, GAL when you can, and work on detachment.

You are doing fine. Hang in there.

[Rita]

I agree with DnJ. She sounds so confused. My H does this all the time too. That staring off into space, the total despair and then suddenly so up and overconfident and either surly or weirdly calm. Your W has no idea what she is doing/saying. You should especially not take in anything she says about your M being dead for years. All of our MLC'ers say the same thing. It's so hard not to protest or explain, I know! But whenever I hear that stuff and manage to remember that it's not true, I get a lot of peace.