Am I Piecing, or Pi$$ing in the wind???

[kiro]

Clyde, you remind me of myself before my W's BD about a year ago. I agree with most comments. I don't think you are in piecing.

The reason you remind me of me is because you are trying too hard to fix things. I am not an expert in DBing and have more questions than answers, but I can tell that you are a logical person. You are trying to make sense of your situation and you are trying to convince your wife about what is right. This is not working and will not work. You need to stop all these debates and talk less. You need to accept that she will do what she wants to do even if it doesn't make sense to you. Like many have already pointed to, you cannot control her. And you will not convince her by reason.

I don't have the answer to your situation. You're in a different spot, but your expectation is too high. You are tracking all her moves almost on a daily basis and it affects you emotionally. This is where I was the first 6 months after W's BD. And it didn't work out well for me. It was a roller-coaster. One week, things would be great and the next, she would be cold and distant. She was not committed to work on the M.

Someone told you that you need to "man-up". I totally agree.

You also need to stop trying to fix her and control her. You need to let go and GAL.

You also need to accept that this is a long process. What you expect will take days or weeks, could take months or even years. So you need to be patient. Stop caring what she does and what she says. Take care of yourself and your kids.