New Year, new thinking..

[DnJ]

Hi Coly23, I understand your reservations of detaching and worry of loosing your feelings towards H. I have / had the same fears. I share your views of having some attachment due to being married and wanting to reconcile, along with not wanting to harden your heart.

I am fairly well detached from W, her actions and words do not emotionally hijack me and send me into a spin (mostly). Perhaps your view is, if one was fully detached one would not care at all, not a great place for reconciliation I think. That may be more a semantics arguement than anything. btw that is my view hence why I see my self as fairly well detached, not detached. Again semantics.

Point is you will not loose your feelings towards H. I still love my W. I know, how crazy is that? After all this time and all she has done - I love her.

You can become emotional detached, you can let go, and not harden your heart.

I wrote out how detachment worked for me and deleted it. It was quite wordy and kind of preachy, did not seem appropriate for a response on your thread.

The short version is being accurate with feeling, thoughts, and beliefs will lead to realizations and the ability to let go.

Ok, that is rather vague. Kind of wishing I copied what I wrote before deleting, I would just paste it on my thread. SMH.

At any rate, I do agree with HaWho. Learning how to let go is an individual process and it is difficult.