Coly - I agree with Ginger. I suppose there is no one method to letting go as it's an individual process. I know it's hard.

For me, what helps (and maybe it will help you?) is to remind myself that everyone deserves to be in a relationship with an equally engaged person. While depression/MLC or just being a walk away may explain the neglect, it does not excuse it.

You can still stand for your marriage by living your life like you really believe you deserve better.

If you were unmarried, met a guy, started dating him and this was the pattern from the get go, what would you do?

Me 41, H 47, M 15 yrs, S11, S13
BD 1: 11/4/14 we work on it; really I pretzel myself
BD 2: 3/31/15 H goes down to "dorm room"
8/15: H back to MBR
10/15: H back in dorm room
1/18: H files, now divorced