My WAS - looking help and thanks in advance PART 2

[ovrrnbw]

Notes from counseling today:

-I'm still exhibiting NGS b/c I'm saying "I don't know" instead of "No" to soften the blows when WW asked for hugs or to be held.
-WW is lying and manipulating b/c she wants to keep me close to her (according to counselor)
-next time WW asks to do something I need to say that "I can't do that b/c I can't trust you, you hurt me and I can't let you keep doing that". Counselor wants me to put it like I know how she must have felt, in that my words were harsh and WW couldn't trust me. Now her words aren't safe for me either.
-talk about emotions, not facts
-counselor thinks WW is hurt and questioning her decisions.
-counselor says don't deliver any message with too much energy (even though her boundary crossing hurt) or the message can be overwhelmed

Just logging the big points here. I'd love to hear some opinions.

Sounds like you have a good one there!! Keep up the good work, and institute what the C is telling you. Remember, you are trying to show her how attractive you are. Yeses and Noes incite respect and respect incites attractiveness. IDK is wishywashy, and does not command respect and therefore doesn''t help for attractiveness.

Thanks Steve, hopefully so.

IDK is totally NGS. Can't be scared that she isn't going to like what I say.

I can't believe I let myself have expectations that she would be hoenest and stay in the MBR. Beyond pissed. Going no contact for a little while for me.