Can I really do this #3

[Dtrmned]

I have been following mtb's thread. I look at a bunch to get a clearer understanding on:
1. I am not alone in this, even though I have to do the work alone.

2. Many, many MR's go through very similar situations.

Some days are better than others. Today, more of an "in my head day" and thinking about what is really lost. Although I know it is not done by any stretch (Sandi's "NEVER GIVE UP" rule), but just hate the limbo stage.

Definitely not ready to "pull the trigger" myself, but that could come any day. Presently, I still love my W. Won't tell her that. Will be db'ing as long as it takes. And working more on the GAL part. I look tons better, I physically and mentally feel better, but the emotional and psychological part of me is just a wreck inside. She never sees this any more, but it is definitely tough to deal with daily.