You can not fix this until she is ready. That doesn't mean until you make her ready. She will be ready soonest if you follow the stuff in here. The methods here are not a luxury slow method. They are what has been proven time and time again in hundreds of sitchs.
Yes, it is hard. Yes you will feel like crap. We have most all been or are there currently. You also can do it.
M 53 W 54, M since 98 D15, D19 8/2013 discovered EA, W maintained contact with OM until 10/14 7/2/17 W said she wanted S, 7/25/17 moved out of MBR 12/17 W says moving out 5/18, W still in home.