A familiar story with questions. V

[RR17]

Thanks, for the quick responses. If I'm going to do this, this weekend, I need to decide soon. I don't think pulling this grenade assures D. I don't. I can do this and still be the lighthouse. Why not. Fact is I am tired of living with the threat. I am tired of living in limbo. If she is cheating again? I already said that was a deal breaker,..and I am a man of my word.

Thinking back, I don't think you were ever that "In Love" with me. I think you were ready to settle down and I was there. We had 2 kids and you poured your love into them. 10 years later you no longer need me. You started looking for someone that you were actually really wild about.[/b]

Bad move dude. Does this paragraph say RR is a fuching awesome catch and you are lucky to have me?

You are looking for pity from her. If you are done then be done and file. If not, keep moving forward.

LH19,
Lol. RR17 is a fuching awesome catch. That doesn't mean that she felt I was the love of her life. At the time we got married I was a career building rock star. Still, rock stars connect with people that don't truly rock their world. Yes I'm reading into this but I do believe that once the girls were born, that is where she focused her love. If she thought I was such an awesome catch, she wouldn't risk losing me now, right?

I'm really not looking for pity. I am ready to force her hand. Read it again imagining an a mater of fact, I don't give a fuch attitude. (It's hard to convey tone in written context)

LW,
thanks for your support. I trust that one day you will see my advices to you as constructive. They come from nothing but concern. Participation Trophies offer positive reinforcement. Losing is where growth and real lessons are learned.

RR, the big question is do you want a D? IF you do, then have the talk. If you do not, then do not.

The lighthouse wants R, is standing there ready to R. Yes it doesn't move itself, it wants for the WAW to come to it. But the point of being a lighthouse is to be there when the WAW comes back the MR and is ready to work.

So the answer to the above question is everything. It is within your right to do that. But understand that having this conversation with her will a) put her on the defensive b) regress on any progress you have made c) increase the probably of you Ding.

I would suggest highly to reconsider. I said she will be defensive. Likely she is embarrassed that she didn't live up to her threat (moving out in May). This will cause her to retreat (this conversation will be pressure, no doubt, and the WAW/WW shrinks from pressure. This will result in her moving back towards leaving assuming she has moved away from it.

RR, the email PW thing is troubling, I won't defend it. But does it have to mean everything? Do you want to blow up the whole thing over it? Can you just let it lie for now, continue working hard on DBing like you have been, and see where things go? Or pull the pin on the grenade and throw it into the middle of the MR?

All of this is predicated on the first question, do you want a D?

Steve85,
Always appreciate your perspective.
Do I want a D? No, but I am ready for whatever is next. I have tolerated limbo for too long. I am done wondering what the EM PW change means. I slept about 4 hours last night and I'm tired of losing sleep over her crap.

I have begun fantasizing about what being single again looks like, and it ain't too bad. Why not do it before I turn 60?

If I do this, I will work some Lighthouse clause into the speech.
"If you decide you truly want to try to reconcile, I am here. "

So the answer to the above question is everything. It is within your right to do that. But understand that having this conversation with her will a) put her on the defensive b) regress on any progress you have made c) increase the probably of you Ding

Yes, she will be defensive. That's okay
I don't think it will regress any progress. I know it will increase the chance. I'm aware. I don't think it assures D.

You said something to the effect that once her deadline came and went she probably realized the reality of it all. Well, one thing this will do is serve up a big dose of reality.
Remeber I am approaching this with a very matter of fact attitude. No sadness. No blame. Just shyt or get off the pot; and I'm prepared for whichever you choose.

If you decide you want to try to reconcile, I am here.

If You Want To Take The Island - Burn the Friggin Boats