I feel I have now managed to detach much more than ever before, and she has definitely noticed. I am genuinely happier for the kids to come to me than me hang out at Ws house and she knows it. Refusing invitations and taking the kids away with me has definitely given her a glimpse of what true separation feels like and I dont think she likes it.
A lot of mind-reading there, and mind-reading does not serve you well. You don't know what she has noticed and not noticed and what she thinks about it. You also do not know what she thinks about "true separation", she may love it. Don't try to use the kids as leverage against her. You can't make her miss her old life, any attempts to do that will just backfire on you.
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I have the feeling she is finally starting to consider R.
It's too soon for that. I think you are trying to read things into the tea leaves that simply aren't there.
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I am going to not pull back too much and stay present, but as detached as possible during this time. In 3 weeks from now we will come back from holiday and if no progress towards R has been made I am going to pull back more than ever and properly implement LRT, increase my GAL activites and detach more than ever resulting in my finally dropping the rope.
I fixed that for you.
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I am finally feeling some freedom from my codependency and that now she cant really do anything to hurt me more than she already has. Things can only get better for me from now on, whether we R or not.
