Hornsfa, welcome here. The good news is you have found the right place. The Usual Suspects have clued you in and it would be wise to listen. Read the book. Read the links.
During DB we all make mistakes. It happens. Just get back to doing the right stuff.
That said, in your last few posts I read several things that constitute pursuing. Don't do it. Learn what it is and don't. This is important and even though it is instinctual it will only drive her away. Don't ask her about IC. don't ask her about anything personal.
You will find that your sitch is not that different from ours. Many of these women freak at 50. Mine did.
Your feelings will change with time. Your instincts will most likely be wrong. Read and post and trust the people on here to tell you what works.
RR17,
Thank you for your thoughts. I do have DR and have been reading it, along with reading most if not all of the links. Its all so overwhelming, and I feel like I am losing time due to all my years of NOT communicating. I do feel a little better this AM, feel like maybe half a foot further down the road And for someone whose instincts have usually been correct (ie discovering affair when she denied), I want to trust them... and I have to learn when it comes to W, I cannot.
H: 47 W:49 M: 17 BD: 5/20/18 OM discovered - still in contact as of 06/07/18. W says she is moving out 9/1/18
And for someone whose instincts have usually been correct (ie discovering affair when she denied), I want to trust them... and I have to learn when it comes to W, I cannot.