The bomb woke me up, but she won't talk

[lusa]

Yesterday W sent a message asking if I would pick up d10 from tennis after work and bring her home. I agreed and she offered to make food which I agreed to. We ate together, for the first time this week and discussed some plans regarding kids activities. I really feel she is respecting me more and making lots more kind gestures. For example she bought me a magazine to take on our holiday in a few weeks ago.

I proposed to go and cook food for us tonight and then I will go to a friends house to play guitar. I asked s13 if he wanted to watch the football match with me and explained I could either stay and watch it with him there or he could come to my house. He said hed prefer to come to my house, and stay the night again, which warmed my heart and intrigued W.

Later on when we got back there we found he had forgotten his pjs, W offered to bring them to my house as I had already done a lot of driving. When she arrived with d10 she said d10 had insisted W come in and see my house for the first time. I have been there 5 months now. She came in and I gave her a tour.

I feel I have now managed to detach much more than ever before, and she has definitely noticed. I am genuinely happier for the kids to come to me than me hang out at Ws house and she knows it. Refusing invitations and taking the kids away with me has definitely given her a glimpse of what true separation feels like and I dont think she likes it.

I have the feeling she is finally starting to consider R. We are going away as a family in 2 weeks and have a busy time before that with kids birthdays etc so I am going to not pull back too much and stay present, but as detached as possible during this time. In 3 weeks from now we will come back from holiday and if no progress towards R has been made I am going to pull back more than ever and properly implement LRT, increase my GAL activites and detach more than ever resulting in my finally dropping the rope.

I am finally feeling some freedom from my codependancy and that now she cant really do anything to hurt me more than she already has. Things can only get better for me from now on, whether we R or not.