I simply don't understand...

[Hornsfa]

Looks like she fell asleep around 9. I woke up at midnight to let our dogs out and I could see she was on her phone.

I am sure some of you will say I am pursuing/pushing by what I did next, but it felt like the right thing to do at the time ti try and establish a boundary for myself (she refuses to discuss them).

I walked in and laid down on my side of the bed and told her that if that she was just going to avoid me and treat me like she did when she came home, I might as well go ahead and move out. During the talk 2 nights ago, I told her things were already uncomfortable enough, and while my intent was to save us alot of money, I felt like she was trying to avoid me by sneaking in the house, and if that was how she was going to act everytime she came home, I might as well move back out.


I told her when the BD, I would have taken 90% of the blame for our marriage dying, but as I laid there in that bed with her, and after the past few weeks, it was only 60%. I asked her if she even considered doing anything in the letter I gave her on Monday and she said "what is the point?" I told her the point was she originally said we could, and 2 weeks later she won't... she wanted me to be a friend and now she doesn't... and she was so far ahead of me in checking out of this thing, and we both have unresolved issues that need to be discussed or else we are just going to repeat the same thing with our next relationships (ie NOT TALKING). You wanted me to be a friend and now you don't - the only thing that has changed is I appear to be doing better in getting my life under control (finding extra jobs to pay debt I incurred (8k), getting back in shape, and going to counseling for myself.

I asked her if I invited her for my evening walk last night, would she have came with me and her response was I dont know. I told her in her heart the answer was no, so that was the answer (trying to show her I can stand up for myself).

I am really really considering just going ahead and moving out, incurring those costs, and just take care of my debt, so when it comes time to decide, I can show what I did to address what I created and how hard I worked while being separated from her... but that doesnt save my marriage - she had mentioned she wants to break the lease on this house (and I do too, but not going to) in August instead of November. Breaking the lease is really not going to help either one of us when it comes time for getting a new house, which is one of my goals next 1-2 years.