Affair discovered 2

[STH17]

Well I actually did something. Here's how it went: I put my pillow and blanket on bed while W was in bathroom. Told her through the door I wanted to talk. She asked if we could talk after she showered. I said no I had to go to bed soon. She finished washing her face (takes five minutes). Meanwhile I try to breathe and calm myself in son's room where he's sleeping. She comes out of bathroom I request we go downstairs to talk. I start with "you want a divorce right? I'm not standing in the way of that. That's your choice you've made to leave the marriage. You can file and I'll work on the negotiations with you. You've made it clear you don't value this marriage. From the behaviors I've witnessed I believe you're having an affair. I'm not going to ignore that."

Here I let myself be baited a little, as she wasn't saying anything and looked to me like she was smirking and enjoying this. I said "I see your wry smile". She says "I wasn't smiling". Fine, whatever. Maybe it was just because she was leaning her cheek on her fist.

I continued: "I'm going to have to start prioritizing my own self-care. That means things will be changing." Might have been here that she said she agreed. I finished with "Part of that's is that I'm not sleeping on the couch anymore, im sleeping in the bed." She said "you're kicking me out of the bedroom?" Not incredulously, just for clarification it seemed. I think I said "I'm sleeping in the bed, I'm not sleeping on the couch while you're having an affair."

And then I went to bed, and she followed to collect her pillows and blanket. I think we both got some of what we wanted. Unfortunately what I also got was a tick crawling on my ankle shortly thereafter because W was out in long grass today. Oh well, all the more reason to strip the bed of W's new sheets she bought herself. Doesn't feel like progress towards R, but it feels good to do at least something for myself. Hope I can keep that feeling and not regret it later. What's done is done, and more decisions will have to be made.

Overall, W's response was pretty much just apathetic. No drama at all. Either the meds and therapy had something to do with that, or she just doesn't care at all. Or had been waiting for this conversation for a while. She texted me after her shower to ask if I'd still watch son tomorrow, and if I would agree to be on the same page with her about him. I agreed, saying I'd already told son I'd be taking care of him tomorrow.