Please weigh in and let me know if I am doing something wrong.
Not at all, sounds like you are doing everything right. You are protecting your finances while not completely cutting her off. You are calmly and rationally explaining things to her. It's all exactly what you should be doing. That doesn't mean she'll like it or pin a ribbon on you, but it's the best approach.
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At this point, I think making the mediation appointment and having her go through the motions may be the only thing to get her to reality. The $$ she is talking about making won't even pay for the rent, let alone anything else.
Proceed as you must because it's what YOU want to do, or what you need to do to protect yourself, but don't do it thinking it'll snap her back to reality. Her rationalization hamster is running full speed and will be for quite some time.
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She is frustrated because she feels like I am dragging this one.
How dare you not to all the work for her!! What kind of terrible husband are you to not pave a golden path to divorce for her?
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I don't know if it was Steve, AS or Sandi who said that if they want it, there isn't much you can do about it, but a lot of times they never lift a finger to move it forward.
I'm definitely fond of pointing that out although I think Steve and Sandi and others here do too. My W had the papers drawn up around the time I found DB'ing. I removed all the pressure from her and just let her be and she just put it on the back burner like it no longer mattered. I was the one that ended up pushing it forward because a partnership opportunity came up and I couldn't risk having my share split up in a "future" divorce, better to get the D out of the way first.
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I want her to do the lifting and I'm not carrying the heavy stuff, or even half of the box. She has to do it. I didn't take the bait and get into a fight so I feel really good about that.
