I have no choice but to minimize contact with him as he has changed his phone number after I was diagnosed with cancer and now I can't reach him.
I do now see that I made a mistake discussing the divorce every single time we had any interaction. But I was focused on not discussing the relationship and since he was living with OW, I didn't want to discuss his life and make him think I approved. So the only topic left was the divorce.
And in truth, I probably wouldn't have discussed the divorce, except that he had gotten the ball rolling.
He actually DID the work and sent me all the paperwork in November 2016. He paid his lawyer a few thousand dollars to do this. Then after he mailed it to me (to my address in one state when he knew I was moving to a new state 3 days later) he disappeared. Didn't respond to me for a few months. Never filed anything. Never responded to me when I said I would file it as soon as I became a legal resident of my new state.
Originally Posted By: job
river, Your h does not want to discuss relationship nor legal issues with you at this time. In his mind this is pressure for him to make decisions and his brain is scrambled and can't get back on track at the moment. The less you try to discuss relationship/legal issues, the more he may come around. In other words, he doesn't want to be put on the spot/hounded about such things. Right now, his focus is on fun and doing what he needs to do to feel better.
I guess I think he may never come around, since he's vanished, meaning he doesn't have to deal with me discussing legal issues, he's able to focus solely on having fun and building his new life and it's been over 10 months since we last had any contact and there's been no change whatsoever.
His decision seems to be made, he's just too busy building his new life to pull the trigger. Plus, in order to divorce me, he'll have to face me in some way, shape or form, and now that he's vanished on me while I have cancer, I'm sure he's looking to avoid facing me at all costs.
