The bomb woke me up, but she won't talk

[SteveLW]

lusa, letting go, and showing her you are letting go, are what worked best in my sitch. After 2 days following BD of pitiful, woe is me clingy-ness I found an anti-divorce expert (not MWD) that taught "Let Her Go To Get Her Back". So on day 3 after BD I started instituting letting her go. I started by telling her that after 2 days of thinking things over I realized that it takes two to make a MR, but only one to make a D. As such there was nothing I could do to prevent her from executing her plan: get a job, get an apartment and get a D.

Then my actions followed that up. I offered to help her with her resume, and to buy her resume and interviewing books. I started talking about the need to decide how and when we would let D14 know what was going on. But mostly I started to detach and differentiate. GAL, 180s, and being the best H I could be but not smothering her.

lusa, if you can drop the rope it is almost a guarantee she will be intrigued, want to know what is going on, hate the loss of control over you she feels, and just generally pique her curiosity. It was described to me like how a bar fight starts. Someone shoves someone, and the immediate reflex is to come back at the pusher. If you push her away emotionally her reflex will be to come towards you.