Approx a week ago i discovered that my wife had applied for rental housing for her and my 3 kids. Even though she had dropped the bmb a few months ago, i was shocked. We have been getting along really well and we last left it after meeting with a councilor that we would give it time to get our ducks in order, work on our communication so we could effectively coparent together for our 3 kids.
Beside one discussion/argument i couldnt even look my wife in the eye because i was so hurt by the thought of possibly coming home one day to find my family gone. And this couldnt have happened at a worse time because my daughter just graduated high school. Should have been happy and celebratory instead of angry and hurt.
Today i met with a lawyer to make sure that im prepared if she decides to do anything. I also had to pick my wife up from work later becauase her car was being serviced so i decided to tell her so she couldnt say i was being sneaky. I also wanted to make sure that she didnt remove my kids from their home. She said she wasnt going to take them and that im making a big deal out of the rental app because she was not moving. Of course i asked her why she would waste the time and she said that she just wanted to look at the place.
We also discussed some things as to how we got to this point. She blames me for not being supportive midway thru the marriage. I had asked her about the last few years and that ive been trying to have a relationship with her but her routine is just to come between 7:15-7:45 and give us 15-20 minuted of her presence for dinner and then its upstairs on her phone for 3 hours from,8-11 until i go up for bed. I asked her how this helps a relationship and she asked what if she was watching tv or reading a book? I said sitting on social media and chit chatting is a lot different. And when i brought up the fact that she is liking a bunch of pictures(all of him working out or doing crossfit competitions) of a guy that she works with shs says she likes a lot of pictures. And then i asked how it is that this guy and her best friend our suddenly so friendly that they are liking and commenting on each others pictures? How is it that they are that close? She then started to get angry and ssid they are just facebook friends and that im making [censored] up. I then said how ive been to a million functions and met different people and i dont normally befriend them online and/or start to exchange comments with them. She then erupted and said that they are facebook friends and that im making [censored] up and what do i want her to do, feed into that. She then really hurt me by saying dont look at me with those evil eyes.(ive never hear her say that) i asked, i have evil eyes? I asked, i have evil eyes?? She said yes, it reminds her of when i would yell at her and point my finger in her face. (I have never pointed my finger in anyones face, never mind my wife) Because we were getting close to home i decided to lighten things up and said dmiling do u really think i have evil eyes, i always kind of likec my eyes? She said now i didnt because they were soft and i eas smiling.
My big concern is that she is getting angry when i bring up this other guys name. It happened last week as well. Is this because shes feeling guilty over something?
Fyi... i really need help on gal, detaching, validation, etc. I a committed to savinv my marriage but i just dont want to be a lapdog at home if and/while shes having an affair.
