Time, you have time to figure out what's best for you and your children. Time is on your side. You can take that time to explore different options and possibilities.
My D? I decided I was going to wait for the two year separation period and then see what I felt like doing. After two years separated I knew I could D without my now XH's consent.
As it happened, I got a legalese text from him after a year and 7 odd months suggesting D and asking if I would agree to go ahead with it. I didn't answer. I guess it just automatically rolled over when it came to the two year deadline and started the process whether I agreed or not. I was D in December last year. I didn't have to lift a finger.
I actually think it was his mother that sorted it all. But that's another issue (for him). Anyway...
We didn't have children though, and the house was mine anyway. So nothing to sort out on that front.
I've worked really hard at opening myself up to seeing and feeling gratitude, in even the smallest things. I think it's helped refocus me. I think I could probably have gone down the very angry and bitter and poisoned route, but I really didn't want to become that person. I felt like I still had a whole lot of life to live and wanted to feel joyful again.
I do still feel like my ego has been hurt. And that I've been cast aside for a younger model that has presented him with more opportunities (family, career...). And I sometimes begrudge the sheer amount of effort that I have to now put in to living my life. But my health (physical and mental) has improved beyond all measure and people are telling me I look twenty years younger.
Well, I'm rambling on a bit and I don't know if any of what I've said is helpful. Just that I agree with you on the time thing.
