seems to me Jim, that at least showing how "Done" you are feeling, but before it's totally completely true,
could trigger a change in your wife. IT MAY NOT, but at least you'd have given that a shot. Overt Patience does not seem to be working. And you count here too. Saving the marriage is second in priority to saving yourself.
(You can't really restore a marriage and have it last, without enforcing boundaries and being true to yourself, as well. That was my mistake in reconciliation, btw.0
I did the GAL pretty wonderfully, but I always felt in the back of my mind that X would see the light. A part of me held on, too long.
I didn't realize how much I was projecting onto HIM, how I felt about marriage and family. I thought he was confused or having a "MLC", as opposed to simply revealing the truth about his priorities being HIM first, HIS career second, and so forth...when conflicts between his priorities arose, I cannot think of a time in the second half of our m, that he chose OTHER than himself. Yet I refused to see this. His actions were not totally consistent so I'd glom onto the 1/5 of his behavior that wasn't lousy, and feel a sense of affirmation that indeed he was coming around...so I more or less skimmed over the 4/5 of his behavior that was unloving or selfish.
Truth be told, our spouses often see and value things VERY differently than we hoped.
Hence the phrase, "Actions speak MUCH LOUDER than words".
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
