The mediator H got us has suggested we get family counseling and see her back in a month. I am going to the counseling and H has declined it. I was expecting he will start by week 3 about the next appointment with mediator, but lay behold it is just week 2 and he started it already after I have had one appointment with the counselor
H - How long before we can continue with the mediation process? Did the counsellor say how many more sessions you need? I - She has not given me any number of sessions, I just have seen her once so far. H - It was f-ing embarassing the way you behaved with the L last time, this time you better have your emotions in control. I - I am sorry you feel that way, I got emotional as this is hard for me and I feel what I feel. H - So you are the f-ing victim now, after treating me like s*** for all these years? I- It is unfortunate you feel that is what happened H - cuts in and says it is agian about you here and you being the victim? Rolls eyes and makes other facial gestures I - Please proceed with what you need to do, I do not want you to be miserable so do what you think is right and convo ended due to some interruption by D3
He still has a lot of anger and resentment. I am patient and calm which truly is a 180 for me, I was a spit fire before. I know for certain that what he says is not true, we have had disagreements but he has convinced himself that I am to be blamed and blown things out of proportion. I am not sure if Hs hurry for D will even give a chance for him to see the changes in me. GAL is still limited but I try staying out of his way and out of the house as much as possible with kids. A big difference this time is I did not cry to sleep at night after this incident and I was more prepared mentally. I will stand up to my M until the day D gets finalized but seems like anything I do will not make a difference to Hs resolve. Looking for advice on how I fared and how I can improve
