You will always get two completely different experiences.
I know I had to stop trying to fix my marriage (control) stop trying to fix my W, before I started to really look at it from her perspective. At first I was too busy defending mine. I had to become result oriented from the standpoint of what I do have control over (me) and what would give W the best opportunity to come around. And that is all it is, an opportunity.
The rules talk about really listening and I think this is why. What is she saying? Not when she is just trying to win an argument or simple hurt you but when she lets these seemingly secret nuggets out. Acknowledging these issues when the time comes will be a major key to success.
M 53 W 54, M since 98 D15, D19 8/2013 discovered EA, W maintained contact with OM until 10/14 7/2/17 W said she wanted S, 7/25/17 moved out of MBR 12/17 W says moving out 5/18, W still in home.
