I know that I would enjoy sharing my new life with her. I have flashbacks of beautiful moments in the relationship because for the most part it was good and beautiful.
Its easy sometimes to think that our eyes (the way we view the world) Is shared by other people as well. You obviously look back fondly at beautiful moments etc.. In the relationship I would wager a bet that your wife would have a slightly different view on those situations that yourself.
I dont mean that to sound negative in any way (I dont write this to upset anybody) but I know for a fact that a number of WAS have been planning their escape or way out for years. So times that you are day dreaming about are more than likely not to have been the same experience for your wife.
Its also a trap sometimes to daydream about how great it all was while conveniently forgetting the times that were less favourable. You will do this naturally as you are a little low and your familiarity (routine) has been broken. So its easy to day dream when your heart and future have been squashed.
You say that you would enjoy sharing your new life with her. My point of view (looking at the dates on your sig) would suggest that your still in that stage that feels like your falling off a cliff, scratching to grab onto any (branch) idea of positivity of recon to lighten the dark you find yourself in. No matter what any of us say, there will be a part of you that takes some advise, but you may think that you know something better, because in reality we are just a bunch of strangers on the internet, who you have never met you or your wife so what do we know? But in reality at the moment your wife wants space and time away from you. You are not a positive influence in her life and she obviously sees being without you a more positive step than being with you. Its coming to terms with that and feeling and working through that crippling low that will allow you to hit rock bottom and be able to build again.
If your wife came back today, even with what you know today it would potentially end up in the same situation.
You need to reset who you are. What your beliefs are. What you like, what you dont like, and really commit to carrying out a full and thorough investigation into you - Not just the story you have told yourself from being a child that you have bought into and then strengthened through your negative actions and behaviour.
Your Wife will not believe a word you are saying because she has witnessed you for 8 years act a certain way.
No amount of talk or promises will help at this point so being concerned whether she sees these changes or not at this stage is irrelevant as she simply wont believe you.
Im just trying to make you understand that this is ground work time. Youre an apprentice at the moment and like most apprentices you will work hard but with little reward... but over time your changes will be noticed.
Mine moved out, I probably saw her for 1 hour a week maximum.
There were months where not much more than a few words where spoken. And every time I would think - I should have said this, or.. If only I did this, or I would stress about how would she see my changes if she didnt see me.
But your W is not stupid and even reading your body language in the 30 mins you meet up to discuss selling the house etc.. Will be being watched and noted on. Do not underestimate how your behaviour in the small moments will affect what happens moving forward. If you are strong and genuine she will be intrigued.. If you are nice and courteous and just acting different, she will see right through it, and it will confirm to her that you are just changing to get her back and she wont buy it.
Maika .. I would expect anything else from you pal. Your Definitely one of the good eggs on here so keep going my friend.
