O- I understand the feeling of being attacked, there were times early on in my sitch that I felt the same way and had to step back and take a break from the forums for a few days or even weeks in once case. One of the problems after BD is we are confused and blame ourselves and we seek out whatever support we can get and if we feel like we're getting rejection instead of support then it stings that much worse. I think we vets just need to try and remember a lot of the newer people here have very raw emotions and are hurting badly and we should try to offer assistance while still being sensitive to that. OK to answer your questions/ comments:
Originally Posted By: OrangeK
Thanks guys. Moving forward i only plan to post here about myself, S3, or if i have a need for advice in interactions with her, or maybe a question about D.
No more what ifs, why did she's, how could she's, what is she doing's, why did she do that's.
Done
I understand this feeling of just wanting to "turn everything off" and move on, but recovering from this is a long, slow process. There will be days that you hardly think about your W and days that you can't get her out of your head. Just post about whatever is on your mind that day, some days it'll be GAL and some days venting about how none of this makes sense!
Originally Posted By: OrangeK
First of all I'm glad I called the pediatrician's office today because there was a letter from S3's daycare saying that if he does not have his physical done by Friday he will not be able to be dropped off to school on Monday. So now I even have further documentation from the school that shows that she didn't take him to the appointment and I have copies of the text conversation from over a month ago of her agreeing that she would do it.
Don't make a big deal out of it, this doesn't really prove she's a bad mother or anything. A court's attitude is going to be that it's as much your responsibility as hers, so if she didn't do it and you know that then you need to. You guys are going to be co-parenting for a long time, so try to work together as best you can, it makes things go smoother. There have been times that my ex said she would do something and she just plain forgot, and I would ask her and she would slap her forehead and then get it done. And there have been times the shoe was on the other foot and I was the one that forgot and she reminded me. This is all part of the "new normal" we have to get used to.
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Additionally she has officially added om's name on the list at school of people who can pick up and drop off my son. I have already spoken to the school about this and there's nothing I can do about it outside Court.
It's a crappy situation to be sure, I can understand why you would be upset and your W should have asked you about it before doing it. But legally anyone can be added to the list- a neighbor, family friend, etc. So unless you can prove he's a danger to your son there's nothing you can do.
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Lastly right as I picked up my son ww texted me and said "I hope S3 was good for pick up for you today I washed some of his clothes that came from your place and I will return them to you on Sunday when we swap him again." again this feels like a temp check from her because we already discussed the fact that she had cleaned some of his clothes and she was going to be sending them to me. She is repeating things that we have already talked about and decided on. what is the purpose of doing this?
A temp check is more along the lines of her asking you if you're dating anyone, or thinking about dating, or talking to anyone, or if you might come over and help her change a lightbulb, etc. etc. This just sounds like she was concerned you might get angry about her taking clothes from your house so she was just letting you know she would be returning them.
