Affair discovered 2

[STH17]

I find myself wanting to confront W about affair, and stand up for myself, but I am hung up on what I can actually do that wouldn't just be controlling. I could close joint accounts saying I can't trust her with our finances, but legally our marital assets equally belong to her, and she is free to max out her own personal credit card. We are in a community property state so in divorce I would still be liable for her spending either way (I still am not sure wife understands how that works). Her using her own card would help me detach in that I wouldn't be hit daily by her purchases. And she is free to open up more credit cards, and she may claim I am financially abusing her. I also see that doing nothing isn't good for me either. W's behavior is costing me a lot of money, and there is no end in sight for her spending and affair.