D - When my W moved out we sat down at the kitchen table and discussed a financial arrangement. What bills each of us would pay for and additional money I would give her each month because I make 3 times what she makes. I did not want to control her with money which is why I gave her money each month so she could live. If she wanted out then lets sit down and see how we can make this happen. I also told her she needed to open her own checking/saving account and have her pay checks auto deposited. We split our savings account in 1/2 and I took away the credit card from her that was in my name that has a very large limit on it. She then opened one up in her own name with a small limit on it so she could use in emergencies.
I know you are not going to want to do this but you need to protect yourself financially first and you may need to make this happen before you leave town. You can have the conversation, and she can agree to it but there is nothing stopping her from not following through once you leave.
To me it is a matter of trust and personally I don't think you can do it especially with you being out of town for so long.
I really admire this J9. It sets a framework.
Hanging on to joint is controlling.
V
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose. V 64, WAW
