My W already has a credit card in her own name. That is what she is making nearly all of her purchases on. That's easy.
I am loathe to make her open up her own account and deposit her paycheck there. I feel like this is just pushing her further away. We still share phone bills, gym bills, netflix, you name it and we share it.
Perhaps this is naivete, and I am prepared for 2x4s galore - but despite BD, despite this spending, I trust W. I trust her not to go crazy with money.
Do I offer to pay her money each month so she can live on her own comfortably? I am a teacher and don't make that much, but I could afford to give her a couple hundred dollars a month. But wouldn't that be just another form of pressure?
Man, I am confused with this stuff.
I am actually going to say the exact opposite. My main core skill is finance.
So unless you make arrangements which are fair to both of you this may blow up in your face. You will be living apart, each paying your own bills. And not knowing what she is doing with money will drive you crazy. J9 has it spot on, once you are apart this could get acrimonious. Agree a good fair position now before separation and a start date. Agree a maximum on her credit card after that she refunds.
Once you have that steady then it will remove much acrimony.
It could get awful and cost a lot of L fees. Integral means you include everything, you discuss what happens if either loses their job or gets promoted.
This is a strong masculine leading position. It has to be done.
Fall short of making it a separation agreement and agree neither of you has taken legal advice and that it can be modified. Find a spreadsheet you can copy with all the expenses on it.
Her credit card and salary can be from her account and you agree an extra amount to steady the ship one way or another depending on life circumstances.
The last thing you need or want is battles with Ls on finances.
I think you can both be reasonable, it's a good place to validate, set boundaries, make agreements and stick to them.
V
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose. V 64, WAW
