S17 and I have been having an issue on driving him to school. He started training pretty heavily for track and part of that was getting up in the mornings to get some miles in before school. There was a new trainer he wanted to work with that told him he wouldn't train him unless he followed a few rules and miles in the morning was one of them. I honestly didn't think S would follow through because he's definitely not a morning person and has trouble getting up for school as it was. But he did it and I encouraged him by getting up to run with him. I also told him I would drive him to school because with him running he has less time to get ready in the mornings. Problem is, he is late all the time. Originally, D15 wanted to leave at 7:00 because she likes to get to school early. We compromised at 7:10 but S is never ready on time and we're always getting to school in the nick of time which she hates. So, she started taking the bus again because she got sick of it. I have to follow up with S a lot to make sure he's coming, letting him know I'm leaving now, etc. to which he responds by saying "I'm coming" but really all that means is that he expects me to wait until he's finished. This causes ALL kinds of issues between S and I....what started off as me trying to encourage him has become an issue where he behaves totally entitled and gets really ticked if I leave. Yesterday I left him. He had the nerve to send me a text and tell me I was "unbelievable" that I couldn't wait two extra minutes. However, I didn't see that text and I realized I had forgotten my sunglasses so I turned around and came back. S said "oh I thought you left" I said "I did leave, but I forgot my sunglasses so I came back. If you're ready, come on.". Then I got in the car and saw the text he had sent me. I told him he had some nerve texting me on the phone that I pay for to tell my how "unbelievable" I am simply because I followed through on leaving him when he's not ready by 7:10. We argued on the way to school and he yelled at me something about how I couldn't wait just an extra TWO MINUTES. I pulled over and told him to get out and walk to school. Today S goes out to the garage to ride his bike to school and there's no bike. He's not sure where he left it. So guess who ended up driving him to school after I said I wouldn't. The whole drive to school he kept telling me that he's never later than 7:15 (which is totally not true and many times if I don't go upstairs to rewake him, he wouldn't get up at all) and that if I would just wait until 7:15 this would be a non-issue. Mind you, this has gone from leaving at 7:00 to leaving at 7:10 to know him pushing me to leave a 7:15. And even if I agreed to leave at 7:15 and he was not downstairs so I leave at 7:16 he would still be mad that I couldn't wait "two more minutes". This is obviously an issue I need to work out with S...but something that I thought was interesting was that I told D15 what had happened and she in response to S calling me "unbelievable" she said "Oh, he's using Daddy vocabulary". Consequently, that is EXACTLY what I was thinking.
Anyway, D15 has a soccer tournament this weekend and we all have to stay in a hotel room so I"m not looking forward so much to that. However, these are also the very things I think about when I think about physically separating. Our older two travel for sports a lot and we often have to stay in hotel rooms. If we were separated, it would be so awkward not only to be at all their functions together but separate and putting the littles in a position where they are there with one parent, but the other parent is there too and when we're in the same hotel but different rooms....it's just too much to even figure out how to navigate. Between all 4 kids we are gone every night of the week, so we would see each other constantly bc just bc it's one parent's night with the kids wouldn't mean the other parent wouldn't still come to the game/practice. So it would be this weird constant together but separate and putting the kids in a constant position where they are "with" one parent but also spending time with the other and I can just see having to constantly explain, "No, you can't leave with Daddy because you're with Mommy this week". How do people do this??????
M: 43, H: 44 Married 18 yrs, Together 26 yrs S17, D15, D8, S6 Still living in MH
