O - If you want to stop posting that is your choice to make. I have been on this board for roughly 1 year and am a better man because of it. If you take the advice and keeping moving forward you will grow in ways you never knew possible. I still learn something every day from coming here and reading if I don't make any posts.
I have been hammered by about everyone that is still currently active and some that are not but I am thankful for anyone that has donated their time and opinions to help me on my journey.
I'm very thankful for all the advice I have gotten as well however this is now The third time that I have made a post that contained several questions and the only thing I get in response is people basically telling me I'm an idiot. And completely ignoring my question
M: 35, EX-W: 3, S:4 All Divorce Proceedings Complete - Oct 18 ----------------------------------------------------- 2nd EX - Was Engaged - Diagnosed BPD 2 Major breakups. 2 Rebounds
Looking for advice on how to handle a few things. First of all I'm glad I called the pediatrician's office today because there was a letter from S3's daycare saying that if he does not have his physical done by Friday he will not be able to be dropped off to school on Monday. So now I even have further documentation from the school that shows that she didn't take him to the appointment and I have copies of the text conversation from over a month ago of her agreeing that she would do it. Additionally she has officially added om's name on the list at school of people who can pick up and drop off my son. I have already spoken to the school about this and there's nothing I can do about it outside Court. I would have to have a court order saying that om cannot pick up or drop off my son. I'm going to speak to my lawyer about that when I get one. Lastly right as I picked up my son ww texted me and said "I hope S3 was good for pick up for you today I washed some of his clothes that came from your place and I will return them to you on Sunday when we swap him again." again this feels like a temp check from her because we already discussed the fact that she had cleaned some of his clothes and she was going to be sending them to me. She is repeating things that we have already talked about and decided on. what is the purpose of doing this?
okay well I'll admit that I only phrased one thing as a question in the paragraph. I prefaced it by asking advice on all the portions of it.
M: 35, EX-W: 3, S:4 All Divorce Proceedings Complete - Oct 18 ----------------------------------------------------- 2nd EX - Was Engaged - Diagnosed BPD 2 Major breakups. 2 Rebounds
There is not one person who has called or even implied that you are an idiot.
I understand these are sensitive times, but are you seeing how you assume the worst, take out of context what people are saying to you? You take everything personally and have knee jerk reactions like you are leaving, peace out, I don't need this.....
Is this how you normally are? Is this something you can work on? Maybe listening to the message more than reacting?
I can tell you, no one takes their time out of their day to taunt you. People come here and take the time out of their day for free to HELP, ot pay it FORWARD. Not to taunt or name call.
Sandi was being quite factual. It didn't last long. She was giving you perspective and being the rubber band on your wrist to keep you on track with what you had said minutes earlier. She was doing something nice for you.
Like I said, I understand these are times of high emotions. But you are a reacter. I think we were all reactors. Take the time to really absorb what is being said before jumping to conclusions about posters intentions.
Like I said, try to look a little inward and see if this is a regular behavior, maybe something you can work on to improve interactions in all walks of life. A big part of Dbing is looking inward, working on what we can, so we can handle tough situations better.
I was a reactor, always on the defense. I had to be that way because my exH was always attacking. It became a habit, and not who I was. I stop, analyze the situation, and people's true intentions towards me and the situation. I can tell you, on here, people are saying things to help you. Intentions very important. And knowing intentions can change how you perceive things.
O - LH told me one time to stop posting bull$hit. You got a 4x8 from Sandi and while u might not like how it was administered she did it with love. ou don't like it because deep inside you know she is accurate.
Hopefully you recognize, learn, and grow moving forward. To recognize and self analyze your own emotions and remember that the battle is within yourself. That you and only you have control over yourself.
OK, hang in there buddy. I know when I was in the thick of my sitch my nerves were raw, and I could react negatively to things I would normally let just roll right off my back. sandi has your best interest at heart, and she was simply trying to see if she could get you to stop spinning on things.
There is nothing wrong with journaling. I did it often earlier in my sitch. Like I said I got a lot of negative feedback (even some that hinted that I WAS an idiot!) related to the new house search. I am thankful for those perspectives even if I didn't heed the advice. If in a year my wife up and leaves me and takes me to the cleaners I'll have to look back on that advice with regret that maybe I didn't pay closer heed to it. But buying a house was ultimately up to me, not to the posters that opposed the idea.
Same in your sitch. Don't sweat it if you get 2x4s that you don't like. Just remember that the intentions of those posters is to help. Even if their delivery isn't what you wanted at that moment.
By the way, really good job on the pro-activity on the physical for your S. Your life will be a lot easier by not having to have had to deal with it AFTER daycare said "sorry, he come here".
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
