Thanks guys. Moving forward i only plan to post here about myself, S3, or if i have a need for advice in interactions with her, or maybe a question about D.
No more what ifs, why did she's, how could she's, what is she doing's, why did she do that's.
Done
While I admire the goal, I would much rather you journal that stuff here than try to spin in it by yourself. So if you feel the need to post like that you should. Go back and read all of our threads, we all spiraled at one time or another.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
Looking for advice on how to handle a few things. First of all I'm glad I called the pediatrician's office today because there was a letter from S3's daycare saying that if he does not have his physical done by Friday he will not be able to be dropped off to school on Monday. So now I even have further documentation from the school that shows that she didn't take him to the appointment and I have copies of the text conversation from over a month ago of her agreeing that she would do it. Additionally she has officially added om's name on the list at school of people who can pick up and drop off my son. I have already spoken to the school about this and there's nothing I can do about it outside Court. I would have to have a court order saying that om cannot pick up or drop off my son. I'm going to speak to my lawyer about that when I get one. Lastly right as I picked up my son ww texted me and said "I hope S3 was good for pick up for you today I washed some of his clothes that came from your place and I will return them to you on Sunday when we swap him again." again this feels like a temp check from her because we already discussed the fact that she had cleaned some of his clothes and she was going to be sending them to me. She is repeating things that we have already talked about and decided on. what is the purpose of doing this?
M: 35, EX-W: 3, S:4 All Divorce Proceedings Complete - Oct 18 ----------------------------------------------------- 2nd EX - Was Engaged - Diagnosed BPD 2 Major breakups. 2 Rebounds
Originally Posted By: OrangeK Thanks guys. Moving forward i only plan to post here about myself, S3, or if i have a need for advice in interactions with her, or maybe a question about D.
No more what ifs, why did she's, how could she's, what is she doing's, why did she do that's.
Done
Quote:
She is repeating things that we have already talked about and decided on. what is the purpose of doing this?
Well..........that didn't last long.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
While I admire the goal, I would much rather you journal that stuff here than try to spin in it by yourself. So if you feel the need to post like that you should. Go back and read all of our threads, we all spiraled at one time or another.
Sandi.
I was merely following Steve's advice. I got to admit I'm a little upset about this last post by you. You Breeze right over all of the questions that I asked and only took the time to accost me and criticize me. I thought this board was about support? I wouldn't have asked that question if Steve hadn't said that it would be better to ask questions on my mind then keep them held inside. I'm honestly a little bit shocked at your callousness and the fact that you only focused on what you viewed as an error and not the other questions in the post.
M: 35, EX-W: 3, S:4 All Divorce Proceedings Complete - Oct 18 ----------------------------------------------------- 2nd EX - Was Engaged - Diagnosed BPD 2 Major breakups. 2 Rebounds
She is repeating things that we have already talked about and decided on. what is the purpose of doing this?
O - No one here knows the reason why......we can speculate but that's all it would be. It is mind reading. Posting stuff about how things are going in your life and goals you are accomplishing is AWESOME! Asking questions about how to respond to her questions or how to handle a situation is great. Posting these types of things though is really of no benefit because none of us know the reason why.
You weren't going to look into her every move and you already are.
You are doing what most LBS do early on..... looking for any indication in every tiny little move and interaction to see if they are showing the tiniest crumb of interest. I have been on these boards for much longer than my signature indicates and I have seen a million times. I did it.
She simply sent one text and you need to know why she sent it. Like J9 said, who the heck knows and what does it matter? It only matters if you react to it. You need to take it for what was said and nothing more, nothing less, doesn't require a response, and it doesn't matter one way or another why she texted it to you.
Ok I guess sandi disagrees with me on that. But I think you coming here with those questions is still better than you spinning on them alone. Even if it results in some 2x4s.
J9 is right. No one knows. But my guess is that she didn't get the reaction she wanted and/ or expected the first time. Best just to ignore it.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
O - I would also add that Rose addressed this yesterday in a response from her. You need to move beyond this type of thinking and maybe start to take notes so you can refer back to them when needed. I have a ton of stuff copied that I saved and still refer to my notes often. I also got back and re-read my sitch from time to time as it helps me remember things that people had posted to me.
I remember posting mind reading questions early on in my sitch and I got hammered for it. Then I got mad at myself for doing it because I realized I wasn't growing and moving forward. You really have to take this stuff personally, the healing and moving forward aspects of it.
I don't think it's helpful to ask why questions.
[b]None of us are mind readers. We've had more than one case on the board where an LBS was convinced he or she KNEW what the WAS or WS was thinking, only to later discover that they were totally off base.
Trying to figure out why she is doing X or Y only keeps your mental energy on her, instead of on you where it belongs.
So if people ignore your why questions, that might be why.[/b]
