Affair discovered

[STH17]

I'll be honest getting in an actual physical fight with her is one worry of mine, not that we ever have before. She's been taking kickboxing classes for the last several months though, and has anger issues of her own. She might just sulk away. Son's bedroom door is just outside MBR, so if I just take the bed and lock the door, she may have to stay quiet. I'm sure she would be ultra-pissed though. She may leave the house. She was suicidal the last time I stood up for myself saying I didn't want a divorce, which has me worried too. She has been in intensive therapy every day for the past week for that, and tomorrow is the last day of that therapy. She then is going to start a 3-hour a day, 3x/week therapy schedule (I think that was the schedule).

The minimum evidence I can confront her with about the affair is that she has gone out on three Sundays suspiciously dressed and made up as if for a date, then comes home very late (or not at all this past Sunday) after having spent money on one meal for herself and buying other things for herself with our joint credit card, but brings home leftovers from restaurants that never show up on our credit card statement. I've uncovered far more but most of that would allow her to accuse me of snooping. I also saw a gas station transaction for this last Sunday that shows she drove pretty far in our "unsafe" vehicle neither of us typically wants to drive more than 10 miles anywhere. So she had somewhere she wanted to go that was important enough to her to do that and not request the more reliable car. It was more important to her to hide where she was going. I said I needed the more reliable car so I could use it with my son, and ended up going bowling with him which was a lot of fun.