Affair discovered

[EricC]

Can I start with just taking the bedroom back and making her have the couch?

See my other post. Hope it helps. Just do not make her take the couch. She is free to do what she sees best. If you do not want to sleep in the same bed with her, that is a different story, that would explain why you may want to sleep on the couch. But other than that, I do not see why you won't sleep in your bed, as it is your own.

I honestly do not see the value of "putting her stuff out on the porch". Do you want to separate? If so, then file for divorce. If not, why are you kicking her out. If you are still trying to save your M, then go dark, do not pay attention to what she does and work on detaching and GAL. Putting her stuff on the porch is an ultimatum that is both pursuing and leading to D, IMO.